Recently I got to talk to five groups of high school students, some of whom were receiving special education services about adulting with a disability. I first asked them what makes an adult? Most thought it was more than an age number but included responsibilities like paying taxes.
I then went on to talk about the realities of living with a disability as I see them:
A: You have to ask/advocate for what you need.
B: There’s a bubble around you, particularly if it’s a visible disability. Reach through it!
C: It costs more in time, energy and money to have a disability.
D: You will face discrimination because of your disability.
E: A disability is an everyday part of your life. Keep your reserves up.
F: Find the pearls in the disability experience.
I then gave them my rules for Adulting with a disability
- Life tasks take longer—plan ahead!
- Try new things.
- You don’t get everything you want, but you do get to make choices and clean up messes.
- Mistakes are good teachers.
- Show up when and where you said you would.
- You have to train allies/helpers.
- When facing a conflict, work for a win/win.
- Team work rules!
- Play is important, but after your work is done and within your budget.
- What kind of a person do you want to be?
- Believe in yourself and have high expectations for yourself.
- Have three “G”’s in your attitude: gracious, grateful and giving.
- Asking for help is a sign of strength.
- Look for the pearls.
The questions were thought-provoking including what’s the best thing you’ve ever done. I was practically speechless by the time I left the school. How do teachers talk all day and still have a voice in the evening? Of course Luna was ready to do it again the next day because she got petted by five groups of wonderful young people.