Recently I got to talk to five groups of high school students, some of whom were receiving special education services about adulting with a disability. I first asked them what makes an adult? Most thought it was more than an age number but included responsibilities like paying taxes.

I then went on to talk about the realities of living with a disability as I see them:

A: You have to ask/advocate for what you need.

B: There’s a bubble around you, particularly if it’s a visible disability. Reach through it!

C: It costs more in time, energy and money to have a disability.

D: You will face discrimination because of your disability.

E: A disability is an everyday part of your life. Keep your reserves up.

F: Find the pearls in the disability experience.

I then gave them my rules for Adulting with a disability

  1. Life tasks take longer—plan ahead!
  2. Try new things.
  3. You don’t get everything you want, but you do get to make choices and clean up messes.
  4. Mistakes are good teachers.
  5. Show up when and where you said you would.
  6. You have to train allies/helpers.
  7. When facing a conflict, work for a win/win.
  8. Team work rules!
  9. Play is important, but after your work is done and within your budget.
  10. What kind of a person do you want to be?
  11. Believe in yourself and have high expectations for yourself.
  12. Have three “G”’s in your attitude: gracious, grateful and giving.
  13. Asking for help is a sign of strength.
  14. Look for the pearls.

The questions were thought-provoking including what’s the best thing you’ve ever done. I was practically speechless by the time I left the school. How do teachers talk all day and still have a voice in the evening? Of course Luna was ready to do it again the next day because she got petted by five groups of wonderful young people.