Reflections on a Burnout Workshop

                Recently, I presented a burnout workshop to local non-profit workers and volunteers. As I prepared for it, I realized I’ve been doing similar workshops for folks for fifty years.  We used to call them stress management workshops, but they had  very similar content. Preparing for the workshop was good for me because it made me assess my own situation so I was sure I was walking the walk as well as talking the talk.

                The term “burnout” was coined in the 1970’s and added as a syndrome to the official list of diseases and syndromes in 2019. Burnout is a collection of symptoms resulting from chronic workplace stress that has not been successfully managed. For many of us, workplace could include the home front or volunteer work as well. There are three dimensions of burnout: feelings of energy depletion or exhaustion, feelings of increased distance from one’s job or negativism or cynicism about it and reduced job performance efficacy. In one recent study, 46% of women and 37% of men reported feelings of burnout.

In the workshop people filled out symptom, sources and stage of burnout forms and made action plans. If you’d like to do your own burnout assessment, Googling will get you good info. 

                Something I added to the workshop was a little consideration of the extra stresses those of us who are minority group members face, ranging from dealing with discrimination to not feeling safe to admit stress—the “Black don’t crack” mentality.

                Solutions to your burnout start with acknowledging it and include figuring out what you can change, prioritizing one or two changes to make, breaking them down into actionable steps, setting SMART goals and seeking support for them. For example, I set two goals: working on my piles of magazines that I need to skim before tossing and doing something every day to feed my soul. I set a goal of twenty minutes a day, six days a week of working on these goals. I can already see the flaw in my goal because I’m doing the soul feeding but not the decluttering. I’ll have to do some recalculating and decide if I want to set a decluttering goal or not.

                In the middle of the workshop, I had a guest presenter who is a minister, a counselor and an improv aficionado do some improv with the group. It really helped loosen people up and generated good energy for working on personal burnout management plans. It reminded me of the importance of play. I love the “yes and” approach that improv teaches, where you add to what the other person says instead of negating it with a “no”.  I’ve been trying to do that in political discussions with friends and on the county board. 

                To prepare for the workshop, I looked through literally hundreds of books.  My top picks were:

Real Self-care P. Lakshmin

Sacred Self-care by C. WalkerBarnes

The Idealist’s Survival Kit by A. Pigni

And a book of poetry edited by Crews, How to Love the World.

                Reminders to us all:

You’re the only one you can change; you can ask others to change, but it’s only an ask.

You’ve gotten this far in life; there’s a lot you’re doing right.

Treat yourself with as much compassion as you would give to a good friend.

Stress has always been with us, but so has self-care like taking a Sabbath. What will you do?   

Consider a Micro Vacation

                                                                                Consider a Micro Vacation

                If planning, scheduling, booking, recovering from and paying for a vacation is beyond you, have you considered micro vacations? I’ve taken three of them this summer and find them to be delightful.

                If a vacation is defined by taking a break from work, and doing something different, there’s no need to spend lots of time or money to meet those conditions. I’m defining micro as four hours or so, or home in time for a nap. The first micro vacation was a trip to a lavender farm and lunch of fried cheese curds and a beer. The second micro vacation was a chat with a mushroom farmer and cooking the king mushrooms he recommended. The third was a trip to a bistro in a nearby town  with friends where we sat on a patio and had pizza on a late summer day. All the vacations involved chatting in person with friends and no electronic devices available. Amazingly, I didn’t even have to try to not think about projects, upcoming meetings, etc.

                When I did go back to work, I felt invigorated. I’m already scheming possible fall micro vacations. I’ll bet you can think of five you’d like to take without even trying! Go for it!

P.S.

• Want another game like Wordle to play on vacation? Try Canuckle www.canuckle.org (a Canadian Wordle)
• Want a historical novel about the 1930’s based on facts with a happy ending? Try West with Giraffes by Rutledge
• How about a funny novel about aging activists: How to Age Disgracefully by Pooley

Visiting a Friend

Funny thing, as I get older, so do my friends! Several are now walking dementia road and have taught me some lessons I’d like to share.

                Alzheimer’s Association and others have lots of good info and tips, but here are Schneider’s top four tips about being around friends with dementia:

1.  Show up. Whether they still know you or not and whether they will remember five minutes later that you did, show up anyway. It says something about you and the friendship and is a good way to pay forward.
2. Take something or someone: A well-behaved pet, a milkshake, an amenable friend, all add a positive conversational gambit and some energy for when the conversation flags.
3. When the friend is trying to communicate and can’t find the words, gamify the search. Pretend you’re playing twenty questions or charades. If the friend can still see the humor in it in addition to the frustration, it may help get the word unstuck from wherever those words hide too.
4. When the friend talks openly about the frustrations, or says they wish they were dead, don’t rush in to make it nice. An ounce of empathy or just a sympathetic “It must be so hard for you” means more than you’ll ever know. Reassuring that “you’re still you” and “I’ll keep coming to visit as long as you’ll have me” are also helpful things to say.
5. If a caregiver is around, spending a few minutes listening to them vent without fixing the problem, or judging them for feeling burned out will help them do their hard job. Thanking staff who seem attentive at a facility and getting to know them a bit reminds them that you see them as an individual, just as they see your friend as one. We all like to be seen and appreciated.

The journey with my friends with dementia is preparing me for my getting older. This beautiful prayer from Joyce Rupp’s new book says it well.

Wisdom Prayer

From Vessels of Love  by Joyce Rupp

“Wisdom is the art of living in rhythm with your soul, your life and the divine.” John O’Donohue

May I recognize and revere the goodness residing  in my being

May I identify something each day for which to give thanks.

May I cherish the memories that foster my happiness.

May I be attentive to how to use the gifts of time and energy.

May I forgive my bodily parts when they do not cooperate.

May I accept  what I am unable to control or alleviate.

May I stay open to what stretches my mind and heart.

May I have the courage to make unwelcome transitions.

May I be disposed to part with my material possessions.

 May I retain hope even when discouragement looms large.

May I recognize the worth of valuable life experiences.

May I graciously receive the kindness and assistance of others.

May I find comfort and trusting the nearness of the Holy One.

Enlightening Presence, you have accompanied me through the darkness and the light of my ongoing personal transformation. You have journeyed with me into the haven of joy and the deserts of disappointment. Now, in the late years of my life, your love leads me to see who I have become, and to embrace the fruitful, wisdom residing within myself. May this wisdom be a source of strength as I move into whatever lies ahead. I entrust my entire being to your loving care . 

Honor Roll of ADA People

                On July 26, the 34^th anniversary of the Americans with Disabilities Act, I’ll be part of a photo shoot, visit a display at the Senior Center about ADA and visit a friend in memory care. I’ve been noticing all month the little things that people do that make the promise of the ADA of equal access to the good things of life for people with disabilities come true.

Friends have:

• Taken me to a grocery store and helped pick the perfect ice cream treat not just grabbed the first ice cream bar we found            
• Brought me  ripe bananas
• Took me  to farmers’ market
• Showed me a lion’s mane (very fuzzy) mushroom
• Took me  to visit a  friend in memory care
• Took me  to lavender farm
• Took a picture of me at lavender farm so I could Facebook brag with the best of ‘em (bragging in words just doesn’t get the same attention)
• Brought lunch (a poke bowl) and tried to describe one item in it (it was black) that she didn’t know what it was. The more she described,  the more disgusting it sounded! It  Tasted wonderful and I pointed out that sometimes not seeing has advantages.
• Offered to put my name in Braille in clear plastic on a name badge for an organization I’m on the board of. I countered with putting the name of the organization in Braille on the back so I’d know which badge it was. He pointed out it would help me also know which way was right side up for the badge, which I’d totally forgot was relevant.
• Read select cartoons out loud
• Glued my  shoe sole back on
• Drove me on an  Emergency trip to the vet
• Took me on a Road trip to check out ADA exhibit
• Gave me green beans from parents’ garden (first picking)

                Each of these events took a bit of extra time from a busy person’s schedule and involved verbalizing information. Access is more than just physical; getting where I want to go and getting information about the environment (how ripe are the bananas) are my big needs; so far AI and autonomous vehicles just don’t cut it!

But organizations also deserve thanks. A few that have come in handy  this month include:

• NY Times for making Wordle and Connections accessible www.nyt.com/games
• Bookshare for having most of the best sellers available almost as soon as they  are available in print www.bookshare.org   Among other books I read this month were J. D. Vance’s and Kamala Harris’s memoirs.
• My public library for making their summer reading challenge available by a librarian filling out my form when I email her my reading log

Then there’s Calvin, my Seeing Eye dog who helps me get where I’m going safely, but also adds joy to my life journey. Having had Seeing Eye dogs before and after the ADA was passed, there definitely have been improvements in public acceptance of access rights for service animals.  

                As I stand tall beside the statue of a guide/service dog some friends and I put up ten years ago at the university of Wisconsin-Eau Claire, I salute the people who worked to pass the ADA 34 years ago and work every day in many little ways to make it a reality. Thanks!

Autonomous Vehicle Study

                I love retirement. You can chase whatever wild hare you want to on any given day. This week’s was a call for participants for a study about people with disabilities reacting to autonomous vehicles (self-driving cars). I signed up and was chosen and spent an hour on Zoom answering questions. Supposedly the check for $50 from General Motors (the sponsor of the study) will be in the mail within two weeks.

                First there were a series of questions about how safe you’d feel riding in an autonomous vehicle in various situations like a crowded highway, winter, a low traffic area near home, etc. I gave most of them a “1” out of ten, with “10” being very safe and “0” being not safe at all. My computer has frozen too many times for me to trust my body to an autonomous vehicle.

                Then they showed a couple pictures of prototypes of a single person vehicle and a multi-person vehicle and asked for reactions. My reactions:

• No door handles—how do you get in?
• Is there a trunk for your groceries, etc.?
• It needs a sound to broadcast like on the old ice cream trucks so blind people would know when it comes for them
• All flat screen displays need to talk like iPhone do
• What does it do when it freezes?
• If it stops working, how do you get it to the shop?

They ended the first study by asking where you’d go on your first trip if you had one. I said I’d go get an orange cream shake by myself; it was a hot day. More seriously I’d like to have one (when all the kinks are worked out, of course) to take me to the emergency vet in the middle of the night if I ever have to go there again.

        I’m going to read up a little for the next study which will be about interacting with the control panels.

Celebrate the ADA’s 34th Anniversary by Curling up with a Good Read

                I’ve had 75 years to experience the portrayal of people with disabilities in books and compare it with my lived realities. I’m so passionate about it that I started an award with the American Library Association for children’s and youth books with realistic portrayals twenty years ago and, more recently, an award for good journalism through the National Center for Disability Journalism of the Walter Cronkite School of Journalism at Arizona State University. To build your TBR list for the upcoming anniversary of the ADA, here are some great reads:

Memoirs have morphed from “triumph over” a disability to nuanced pictures of life with the disability. More intersectional memoirs and more emphasis on disability issues make them educational instead of cloyingly inspirational. Some you might like (published in the last five years) include:

Beautiful People: My Thirteen Truths about Disability by Blake

Being Seen by Sjunneson (deaf blind media critic)

Dear Senthurian by Emezi (queer, disabled Black writer)

White Magic by Washuta (bipolar indigenous writer)

Sipping Dom Perignon Through a Straw by Ndopu (spinal muscular atrophy)

                If you’re interested in religion and disability, you might enjoy:

My Body Is not a Prayer Request by Kenny

Loving Our Own Bones by Belser

                I started the Schneider Family Book awards because when I was growing up, there were biographies of Louis Braille and Helen Keller and that was about it for disability representations, other than Tiny Tim and the Little Lame Prince. The winners chosen by the librarians have shown the increasing range of lives pictured and the complexity of those lives with single parent families, love affairs, teen angst, etc. for kids with disabilities. Personal favorites are biographies like Looking Out for Sarah by Lang, Rescue and Jessica by Kensky and Listen by Stocker because they picture real adults with disabilities and two of them involve dogs.

                Happy reading!     

Getting Ready for ADA Month

                To meet various newsletter and government deadlines, I started approaching nonprofits and governmental units to ask what they were doing or had done recently that might highlight outcomes of the Americans with Disabilities Act. It’s relatively easy to get a proclamation passed saying “Yea ADA”.  But, for it to have much meaning it needs to tie to peoples’ lives. I offer the list below in case you want to try stirring up interest in your town. When I hear talk of getting rid of the ADA as I do from “less government” friends and neighbors, it makes me realize I want to celebrate what we have while we have it.

The ADA is Everywhere

How will you celebrate the 34th anniversary of the Americans with Disabilities Act?

On July 26, 1990, President George H.W. Bush signed into law the Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA) to ensure the civil rights of people with disabilities. This legislation established a clear and comprehensive national mandate for the elimination of discrimination against individuals with disabilities. Both the county and the city of Eau Claire will affirm the principles of equality and inclusion for persons with disabilities with proclamations.

Sparked by an ADA request, Eau Claire County is one of the first in the state to permit remote attendance by board and committee members at its meetings. As with ramps, something that started because of ADA benefits many.

Numerous organizations in Eau Claire County and the State of Wisconsin work with constituents and communities to bring forth the promise of hope and freedom that is envisioned by the passage of the ADA.

Check out some of these offerings in our County and enjoy celebrating ADA month:

• MS-Take Charge is hosting an ADA Celebration at the L.E. Phillips Senior Center, Thompson Room Friday July 26, 2024 from 11-4pm.  displays on the ADA, Multiple Sclerosis (MS), and new nonprofit MS-Take Charge;   
• Free Raffle for Door Prize; treats!
• REACH is having an open house at their Heimstead Road location on July 18th from 11:30 – 2:30. A light lunch consisting of hot dogs, noodle salad, fruit salad, and dessert will be provided. They will also have a variety of fun backyard games in their back parking lot. Our greenspace should be completed by then, everyone is welcome to check it out. Anyone from the community is welcome to attend this fun event. Please call Reach at 715-833-7755 to RSVP, so they can get an accurate food count.
• An ADA blogging couple, Squirmy and Grubbs, visited River Prairie, downtown Eau Claire, and explored other local sights in 2023. Read their report at: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RMMQgXZCyps
•  In 2022, the City of Altoona, as part of upgrading its 10th Street Park Playground, installed accessible playground features to provide additional play opportunities for persons with disabilities. In 2024, the City installed accessible raised community garden spaces at the new Perseverance Park.
• Half Moon Lake Boardwalk Trail is ADA-Compliant and fully accessible for mobility devices and strollers. It has three elevated boardwalk trails with bumpers to prevent people from leaving the trail and handrails in areas for safety and accessibility. The trail provides 1800’ of concrete trail with three branching boardwalk trails with adjustable footing designed to withstand wet conditions and flooding.
• Wheelchair-accessible merry-go-round and other play equipment at Boyd Park.
• ADA paddle boats (powered by either your arms or legs) at Coon Forks.
• Beach wheelchairs are available at Coon Forks Park and Lake Altoona Park and an all-terrain utility chair is available from Beaver Creek.
• In addition to celebrating its sixth year in operation, Inclusive Ministry Church celebrates the spirit of the ADA. The next monthly service and fellowship meal is Sunday, July 21 from 3:00-4:30 at Lake Street Methodist Church, 337 Lake Street in Eau Claire. All are welcome.
• Want to read recent fun memoirs about disability experiences or find some good children’s books about people living with disabilities? Check out Katherine Schneider’s blog for recommendations: https://kathiecomments.wordpress.com
• Stop by McIntyre Library on the UWEC campus at noon on July 25 to view a display about ADA and watch the cult film classic Repo Man with library staff who will be highlighting audio description and closed caption tracks of the video followed by a discussion of the experience.

Celebrating Older Americans Month

                                                                Celebrating Older Americans Month

                Having just turned 75, (which makes me middle-old),  celebrating Older Americans Month this May has taken on new relevance. The  Theme this year is “powered by connection” Here are some of the connections I’m making. How about you?

                Since my friends are generally my age or older, I do the following monthly:

• Arranging a birthday or other  party for friends in two facilities means reserving a party room, arranging transportation, making sure everyone is comfortable with the activities and food, etc.)
• Finding appropriate books for book clubs; members want shorter books and less switching time frames and narrators each chapter
• Taking supper to a friend who’s turning ninety; she prefers  a slower pace of activity and food that fits medical issues and is extra tasty. Luckily, I was gifted with rhubarb so rhubarb crisp is on the menu.
• Calling an  almost ninety-year-old gal  weekly as part of an ADRC program grounds me in savoring the little things in life like the return of orioles
• Visiting a  friend in memory care reminds me to roll with the conversation even if the truth value is questionable
• encouraging friends and celebrating small victories  as they talk about adjusting to disabilities; reminding them that it takes more time, energy and sometimes money to do what they used to do and that they have to ask for what they need and others may or may not understand.
• Researching assisted livings, etc.so I’ll have good current info to share as friends consider making “the move”
• Looking for the funny parts of aging and younger people’s reactions like overpraising or denial In Dog Years I’m Dead by Pearson  might get you started finding the humor if your humor muscles are out of practice.
• Reading “eighty-somethings” by Esty (a therapist in her eighties),   gives lots of good info about upcoming issues. For example, it talks about the five ways people deal with their medical issues: denial, complaining, worrying, being stoical and being realistic. It describes this part of aging as a balancing act between holding on and letting go. It suggests learning to go into “patience” mode both with yourself as things take longer and are just plain harder to accomplish. The author stresses still  playing with others, even if you have to add new people to the game and play a different game.
• As Irving Berlin said “Life is 10% what you make it and 90% how you take it.” If you want to dig deeper into the spiritual aspects of aging, some of my favorite books are:
• Coming to Age (a book of poems on aging) edited by Hoberman
• Crones Don’t Whine by Bolen
• The Inner Work of Age by Zweig
• The Spirituality of Age by Weber and Orsborn
• The Wisdom of Morrie by Schwartz  
• On the Brink of Everything by Palmer
• The Gift of Years by Chittister

Turning 75

                Recently I won re-election to the County Board for another two-year term and I turned 75.  Lots of celebrating and many thoughts about what’s next have occurred. Maybe the thoughts will resonate with you in your transitions.

                I’m someone who likes to celebrate many times with small groups of friends rather than one big bash. So, I’ve brunched, lunched and supped with friends. One party with friends who live in assisted living even included an art activity. Of course, there were cards and calls, including one from a nephew who suggested in the “what’s next?” area that I consider looking for a boyfriend.  I’m still pondering that one.

                My birthday falls on the same day as “national beer day” and “no housework day”, so I tried to celebrate both.  

                As a person who has everything, I decided to give myself contributions to the community: a lecture on birding by ear for the visually-impaired support group in town, a gift to the Meals on Wheels fund, a contribution to a Braille publisher to sponsor a poetry book being put into Braille, etc. Friends also contributed treats like 75 home-made cookies to share and a box of snacks including several chocolate items. Yes!

                As for what’s next, on my bucket list are: reading more, dabbling in poetry writing and writing a psalm. On the maybe list are a singing lesson to see if I can get beyond sounding like a bullfrog and a comedy class. As Dame Judi Dench  says: “Age is an opportunity for reinvention.”

All in all,  a T shirt I was given sums up my thoughts on 75 so far:  “Life is good.”    Forward!

Poetry Workshop

                Ever wondered what a poetry workshop was like? I’ve always wanted to attend one, so gave myself an early birthday present and signed up for one. It involved four ninety-minute phone sessions with ten participants and a leader from California, who is a published poet. Members in the group were all females and ranged from amateurs like me to published poets.

                Our classes usually included the poet reading us one or more of her poems, pointing out a poetic device or giving some other resources and then us writing for a few minutes on a prompt she gave us and then sharing our fragment if we wanted to.

For example, the first prompt was:  “what word are you holding” and I wrote:

                                                February 3

The male cardinal repeats his song

announcing his territory a month early.

Will he hear one word from a lady

to give him hope?           

Then “homework” is assigned. The first weeks was “If Sidewalks Had Ears” and my poem was:

                                If Sidewalks Had Ears:     401 Water Street

I’m just a sidewalk; I bar none but hear all.

 In the morning, I hear  a hose cleaning me  up for another day.

Many young feet tramp over me  to class and hustle back home to get on with life.

In the evening, groups chatter over me  as they hurry to  enter the building.

Later some stagger home alone or in pairs.

A few disgorge their sorrows and leave me

waiting for the sound of the morning hosing down.

I’m just the humble patch of concrete in front of the Pioneer Bar.

                The poem for the second week was about tall ships, but contained the line “The wind is now”. Based on an encounter with a friend with aphasia, I wrote:

“The Wind Is Now”

It’s a cruel wind that blows her words away.

She used to teach; now she struggles to state basic needs.

It’s a warm wind that blows friends in to embrace and remember out loud the good times.

It’s a soft wind that says: “I will carry you toward a new now

Where the spirit reminds us all that we are each a breath from God.”

                The amazingly wonderful part of the workshop for me was to hear all the different directions people took for their writing from the same poem or fragment.

                Just for fun for the next homework prompt, “If the Rain Knew My Secrets”, I wrote a haiku and then asked CHATGPT to do so.

                I like his better.

                                                                “If the Rain Knew My Secrets”

Mine:

Sorrow poured from  sky

Dumping big and small secrets

Cleansing  memory.

ChatGPT’s:

Rain whispers softly,

 Echoes secrets in its fall,

 Nature’s confidant.

                At the third workshop, to the prompt “If you lose a memory, embroider a new one to take its place”, I wrote:

What did we talk about the last time I visited you?

The memory may be gone from both our minds.

 but the warmth of the greeting and the joy of being together

Embroider a picture of a black Lab lying on his back in a patch of sun.

                For the last week’s in-class  exercise, our leader talked about using metaphors and then had us write as many metaphors as we could in five minutes for a common object. I did

What is a cup?

A holder of morning energy and evening comfort

A paper weight

A maker of statements

A dust catcher

A hand-warmer.

                Others in the group waxed much more poetic on this exercise. I left the workshop emboldened to find a critique group or another workshop. Of course I’ll read more poetry, starting with Dogku by Andrew Clements.